Notes from December

In the past two to three years, I've been feeling like a bit of an aberration of myself. Lost at sea, following the motions of the waves without any resistance, without a compass nor a docking port in mind, letting whatever and whomever crosses my path onto my ship and giving them control of it. Always playing middle field and never picking a side.

It's been dull to say the least, playing it safe. Not offending anyone and pleasing everyone, or trying to. Incessantly conscious of other peoples' behaviors and judgments, and not wanting to err on the negative end of that spectrum. Who are these people and why the fuck does it even matter?

It's now a time for reflection and reevaluation - of things that matter, of places that matter, of actions that matter and people that matter. This is not becoming more mature or more cynical - there is a difference between cynicism and knowing your "self." This is but a filtering out of things, places, behaviors and people that do not bring positivity into one or more areas of my life, whether physically, emotionally, intellectually or spiritually. It's a process of elimination and hopefully a methodology for better time allocation to be in a good place with good people doing good things as often as possible.

Life is a Book

Writing for the Sake of Exercising the Muscle