people spend their entire lives searching for meaning, trying to make sense of the world around them, of the people, plants, animals and other tiny little living organisms that surround them, trying to make sense of themselves.
why are we here? what are we here for? tell me, cosmic universe, what is your secret?
let me be a hedonist. let me travel the world. let me say fuck you to societal norms and values. fuck you to everyone in the world who expects me to be something better than who i actually am. fuck you and your expectations. you think you know me, you don't know me at all.
why must i have so many secrets? why must the world? because people do what they do, sometimes it's what they want, other times it's what they need, they do it and they get judged for it. fuck your judgement. that's not what i asked for.
understanding must exist somewhere below the atmosphere, below the ozone layer, amongst humanity. understanding and acceptance, that as living organisms, we have moments of weakness. we make mistakes. we fuck up.
my whole life, external pressures have controlled me, driving me deep into a dark cave where i lay with my secrets. trying to live up to the expectations of others, it's an impossible task. so much disappointment. so much despair.
to whom do i owe the pleasures of life, loyalty and love? myself only. i was selfless once, and i lost.